To those I can’t see anymore…

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Have you ever had a person (or persons) influence your life forever? You know… the ones whom you can’t help but love with your entire heart and soul because they had such a profound impact on you? And even though you love them SO much… you know it is probably (at this point) only one sided?

Yeah. I have some of those.

People… families… who for various reasons I don’t (or can’t) see anymore. People who have impacted who I am today. People who I still look up to. People who inspire me to this day. People who loved me and took me in. People who will never know how much it all meant to me.

And it’s hard for me… knowing that I can’t see these people anymore. Maybe it’s distance or age or other circumstances that keep me from those I love so deeply… but nonetheless, it keeps me from them. And I hate it.

I have to remind myself not to think about it because if I do… if I let myself remember how much my heart aches and yearns for their smiles and their company… the floodgates open… and I’m left in torment. I cry. I break. And Grant just comforts me and holds me. He doesn’t always completely understand… but that doesn’t matter. He knows that I’m in sorrow for those I can’t see or be with anymore. He tells me that they love me too and that they miss me just as much. He reminds me that it’s okay… that everything is going to be okay.

And then I pull myself out of it. I keep myself busy and I focus on other aspects of my life that I can control… instead of the deep heartache for those I miss so desperately.

I guess the moral of this is to love the people in your life with everything you have… because someday you might not be able to see them or be with them or walk into their home anymore. Someday, those circumstances may change… and all you’ll be left with is the outline of their handprint on your heart.

Love, Shalee

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