I unfollowed you. But it’s not what you think. Let me explain.
I didn’t unfollow you because I dislike you or I’m uninterested in your life. I didn’t unfollow you because I’m trying to be mean or because maybe you don’t follow me back.
That’s not why I unfollowed you.
I do like you! I am interested in your life and your accomplishments and all the wonderful things you’re doing! I don’t care if you follow me back or not – and I am most definitely not trying to be rude or “stick it to you.”
I unfollowed you because of me. And… I’m so, so sorry. I’m sorry I’m so imperfect that I have to resort to unfollowing. But unfollowing you was never meant to be mean. It was never to hurt you or your feelings. It was because you are so incredible. SO incredible! You post amazing and wonderful things about all the places you’ve been and all the things you’ve done, and it is admirable!
But while you’re living your amazing life, I’m…. not. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and what I do! But sometimes… it gets too much. Sometimes I find I’m being too hard on myself for not doing this or not doing that. Sometimes, I’m my own worst enemy. My worst critic. And I compare. And I tear myself down. And even though I love seeing my friends accomplish amazing and wonderful things… sometimes I don’t need to know – ya know?
I think life was better when we didn’t know every little thing our friends were up to. When people couldn’t post about their travels or their recent purchases, etc. When the only time we would find out, is when we actually talked and reconnected with that someone in person. I think it was easier to be happy for that person, in that moment, than to see multiple posts a week and dwell on what we’re missing out on.
The fear of missing out. FOMO. It is a real thing… and personally, I hate missing out. I love to have fun and I am an extremely social person. So, FOMO is a difficult emotion for me to deal with. And social media has taken FOMO and increased it by one hundredfold.
And that’s hard.
So please understand. Try to see where I’m coming from. It’s not that I’m not happy for you. I am SO happy for you! But while I’m being happy for you, sometimes I find I’m unhappy with myself. Sometimes the FOMO gets too much. And now, when I start to feel bad about myself, I mute. I unfollow. Not against you – but for me. It’s to keep me okay. It’s to keep me safe and happy. It was never meant as an attack on you. Only an attack on the one who encourages comparison. The one who feeds self-doubt, worry, and insecurities. It was an attack on him. An attack on Satan.
| Shalee |